You Learn

One of my favorite songs is "You Learn" by Alanis Morissette. I think I like it so much because it's true. Everything we go through in life from love to grief we learn something.

We spend our lives learning. Some lessons are easy and some are very difficult. I remember when I fell in love with my husband, I had to learn about compromising, seeing someone's differing point of view, and sharing myself completely with someone else.

I learned when I became a mother to give my whole heart to a little person. I learned to care completely for another person. Tyler taught me how to love. He taught me how to function on no sleep, and how to have more caring and compassion for others.

When my dad died, I learned how to deal with grief. I learned that just because someone is gone physically from your life doesn't mean they are spiritually gone. They don't disappear completely. You learn that you can still feel them near you, and they watch over you.

From love, birth, and death I learned how to be myself. I learned how to find and better myself. Learning, growing, stretching, and becoming the person I am through what life gives me means a lot.

You Learn-Alanis Moris

sette

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn 

What I Love

There are so many things that I love, but I want to share just a few of them with you.
1.I love my family.
2. I love the way that our family is with each other. We share such a strong love with each other.
3. I love my pajama days.
4. I love the truth. Lies hurt.
5. I love church.
6. I love Christmas.
7. I love hot chocolate, or any form of chocolate.
8. I love hugs.
9. I love washing my hair. Weird, I know.
10. I love the way my hubby looks at me.
11. I love the ocean.
12. I love to color.

Those are just a few of the things that I love and care about, but there are so many more. What about you? What do you love?

Yes. I Mean It!

There are a couple of points that I want to make clear.

When I say that I am an author, I really mean that I am an author. I write, and I will be getting my books published. You can laugh all you want, but I will be getting my stuff published.

When I say that I have an incredible family, I really mean that I have an incredible family.

When I sayu that the bottom fell out of my world the day my dad died, I really mean it.

When I say that I miss him so much I can hardly breathe at times, I mean it.

When I tell you that my faith keeps me going, I really mean it.

When I tell you that my Father in Heaven holds me together, I really mean it.

When I tell you that the Savior makes all things possible, I really mean it.

When I tell you that the Holy Ghost comforts me, I really mean it.

When I tell you that Green Eggs and Ham is one of the best books ever written, I really mean it.

When I tell you that my two sons are amazing, I mean it.

When I tell you that I want to float in a pool of chocolate and caramel, I really mean it.

When I tell you that hope means a lot to me, I really mean it.

When I tell you that I will make my dreams come true, I REALLY MEAN IT!

True Love

Have you ever wondered what true love is? I know what it is. I have it every single day.
My dear husband is selfless, honest, caring, faithful, he looks at me in the morning, before I have even gotten dressed, and tells me how beautiful I am. He puts me first, always. He is the epitome of true love.
I adore this man with my whole heart. I think our relationship works so well because we are always trying to be good to each other. We didn't have a self help book for this, except for the teachings of Christ. We try to show each other the kind of selfless love that Christ has shown. That is true love. When you put the other person first, and show your love, communicate in a loving way, your relationship will improve.

I know what true love is, thanks to my dear husband.

No Longer A Chicken!!!

Now I Am A Warrior Princess!!!!

I Am No Longer A Chicken!

There is something that I have been learning how to do, and that is creating boundaries. I have always let people in my life whether they were nice to me or not. I always felt that I deserved to be treated badly I guess.
I've had supposed friends treat me like I was a bad mother, family members that acted as if my home wasn't good enough, I always felt less than. Less than what I should be, less that what people expected of me, I always felt as if I were my family and friends last choice. That no one really wanted me around.
I've had things that have happened to me to make me feel horrid about myself: strangers laughing at me, an old friend looking at me and exclaiming about how fat I was, someone asking me about how I don't have a lap (actually I do), someone singing a weight loss song to me in the store, a family member saying something rude about our home, and many other things.
I have cut the people that I can out of my life that have been hurting me, and I've set boundaries so that no one that enters my life will have the power to make me feel badly about myself. I have had to say goodbye to some family, and friends that were never really friends to begin with.
I am a good person!
I deserve to be happy!
I deserve to have the wonderful husband and son that I have!
If you would try to bring me down-see ya!

Full Heart

There are many people that seem to be unhappy, or constantly complaining about their lives when they have so much to be grateful for.
My heart is full of gratitude for the blessings in my life. I have a home, that to some, may seem to be humble, but to me it is a palace.
Our health may not be wonderful, but our home is full of love, and with that love we help each other every day.
Even in a time of mourning, I have peace and comfort in the Gospel. I know that through the Savior my family can be together forever.
That brings me to my family. I have a wonderful husband that I love with all of my heart. We stand by each other through the good times and the bad times. He is a wonderful, faithful priesthood holder that exercises his duties with faith and love. He has no idea what a great man he is. I just wish he could see himself as I see him.
Our son Tyler, has lived with years of chronic pain, yet he is a young man filled with love and faith. His heart is big, and his sweet spirit is generous and  kind. He has so many amazing qualities. Being a faithful priesthood holder among them. He is honest, compassionate, and always willing to help. He is an excellent example in so many ways.
Our son, David, is a blessing as well. He has a big heart, he's sweet, funny, and compassionate. He is an amazingly hard worker, and he knows what he wants from life. He is talented, and giving. There are so many ways that he has blessed our lives and the lives of others.
I also have many sweet friends that I look forward to speaking with daily: Gail, Tiffani, Shoan, Jackie, Kasi, Amy Lynn, Sianee, Megan, Ed, Elizabeth, Susan, Brian, Melissa, Kierra, and so many others! They all have a special place in my heart.
Then there are my hobbies that I am grateful for. I love writing, reading, and doing my book reviews. I am so grateful that I have these in my life.

I think that everything comes down to gratitude and looking for the blessings that are all around us. Heavenly Father has blessed each of us in so many ways. Instead of having an attitude of pessimism, have an attitude of gratitude for what we do have.

Busy Bee!

I have been a busy bee! I am involved in my own writings, working on several books. I also decided one day last week to start a Facebook page devoted to reviewing books. I am also reviewing unpublished works as well.
I had no idea that it would take off the way it has! I have had several books emailed to me as well as hard copies to review as well. I LOVE IT!!! It is amazing to see the inspiration and raw talent that so many possess.
I love writing myself, anyone that has known me for a few minutes knows that writing and reading are passions of mine. I look forward to the time that I can send my own books out for review.
I think the greatest honor that I have had was receiving an autographed copy of The Unwilling by C. David Belt. I knew he was sending me a copy of his book to review, but when I opened it and saw the sweet note and his autograph, I just about jumped out of my skin! I will be forever grateful for that little kindness.
That brings me to another thought. You never know what a simple kindness can do to help lift a person's spirits. A smile, hug, kind words, even just a hello can make a happy day for somebody. So go out and do some good this day!

My Daddy

My dad passed away yesterday morning, peacefully, in his sleep. I want to share with you some things about the man that always slayed the dragons for me, that taught me how to dance, walked me down the aisle, and was there for me always.

When I was little, I was a Daddy's girl. I loved it when he came home from work, I would sit on his knee, and in those moments he was my whole world. When my grandmother would come to visit, I made sure I was the center of his attention, much to her annoyance. Yeah, I was little and loud.

Bless his heart. He took me fishing, and we had some experiences! I cast, aiming for the water, and I ended up catching my dad in his back. I was also afraid of the fish, so when I did manage to catch something another time, it ended up back in the water because I couldn't bring myself to touch that flippy floppy fish after my dad took the hook out. It managed to flip his way back into the water. My dad had so much patience with me.

One story he loved to bring up was when we played catch. Now please keep in mind that I have absolutely no hand eye coordination whatsoever. He would throw the ball, I would watch it go by, and he ended up running to get it. 

As I got older, and had Tyler, he came to the hospital with a red rose for me, and when he looked at Tyler, he said, "Cute little bugger isn't he?" Yup, that's my dad. He became a second father to Tyler. He loved taking him out to see his garden, and holding him on his lap after work and sharing his dinner with him. Another one of his favorite memories was when Tyler was just toddling around outside with him, and Tyler said, "Up the hill Pa, up the hill." He loved Tyler like he was his own child.

This is one of my favorite memories. My dad had just had surgery on his foot, but there was never a question about him walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. I was so nervous, and I told my dad that I couldn't do it. His response was, "Oh yes you can." and I did. I don't know what kind of pain he was in on that day, but he made sure that he danced with me.

There were all of the little things that he did that I'll miss. He loved to watch sunsets, feed the squirrels in the back yard, plant a garden, and he loved anything that involved nature. We took a vacation up the coast of Quebec, and that is still a favorite memory of ours. He would always check on us to make sure we were feeling okay, and to see how we were doing. He shared stories about working for the Department of Agriculture when he was young. I loved listening to all of my dads stories.

My dad was and is someone that I will love. He had so much to share if you were just willing to listen. He was so smart, and full of knowledge, and he found joy in the simple things of life: Camping, nature, cooking, and he loved to watch cooking shows.

Daddy, I love you, miss you, and God Be With You 'til We Meet Again.

What's on Your Mind?

When FB asks this question of me there are times when I think that I should keep that to myself. This, however, is not one of those times. This post may annoy some, it may anger some, but it will give you a better look into my twisted way of thinking.

My view is that everyone should be loved, regardless of their race, religion, or sexuality. People are people. Everyone deserves to be cared for and loved.

I also believe that beauty comes in every shape, size, and color. Every person on this earth is beautiful. We shouldn't let the people that control the media tell us what is beautiful. Some of the most beautiful people I know and love are not "media" beautiful, but they have the most beautiful hearts, souls, and minds.

We need to think for ourselves. Decide who we want to be, stand out from the crowd, and have the balls to say "I am not going to let other people decide for me. I will think for myself!" 

My heart breaks every time I hear about bullying, and the tragic consequences it has. Bullying doesn't stop at schools though. How many of us have stood silent while we see someone else being mistreated? How many of us have laughed at a gay joke, made fun of an overweight person, or passed judgement based solely on religion?

 Have the courage to stand up, and say no more!

Well this is what's on my mind today. Like it or lump it!

Wow! Too Long!

I haven't been on here in such a long time. Health-wise we are all still struggling. Everyone has challenges, so I shouldn't complain. Sometimes a good vent does help, though!

Tyler has turned 18! I can't believe it. I have one boy away in college, and my baby is grown up. I know it sounds lame, but time does fly by.

Have you ever noticed how certain people are put in place for you at just the right time? I have been seeing that so often lately. I am grateful for so many people that have come out and helped us. Even just encouraging words have been amazingly uplifting.

So, to all of you that have given us kind words, love, service, and prayers, Thank you so very much!

My Favorites!!!!

I wanted to help you get to know me better by sharing some of my favorite things in the UNIVERSE with you!

I love my little family with my whole heart. I gave my heart to my husband when I was sixteen, and he has cared for it ever since. I never want it back. Our son is and has always been a wonder and joy to us. He is a gift from Heavenly Father that I will forever cherish.

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I am grateful for my testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost. I am also grateful for the role of families in His plan for us.

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I love books-

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Writing is my favorite thing to do.

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I love birds. There is a lilac tree by our neighbor's house and I saw the two cutest birds in it yesterday. It was an aaaawwww moment.

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I love cats. We only have one, my little Emily, and she is so adorable and dorky. I love that kitty!

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I love babies, but they always seem to be leaking somewhere. I don't get that part, but little baby feet and bellies are the cutest!

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Music is a must have in my life! I love all kinds except opera, and most classical music.

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I love that my parents live so close to us. I love that I get to see them all of the time, and that they have been such an important part of Tyler's life.

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I love bacon, but if I didn't I would be just plain crazy.

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I love that I got to see an angel on earth through Ben Orton. That boy is so sweet, and is missed.

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I love that our family is filled with love.

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I love that I have an "adopted" son, and that he is such a good person!

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We read as a family every night. We have shared so many good books together.

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I love Christmas and Thanksgiving!

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I love berries.

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I love twinkle lights!

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I want to snuggle with a polar bear, panda bear, and grizzly bear, but I don't see that happening anytime soon :)

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I love to laugh.

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I love journaling, when I remember to do it ;)

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I love all animals! They are so sweet.

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I love hugs.

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I love the ocean.

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I want to go to Ireland, and stay for a couple of months.

That's just a sampling of the things I love. I'm sure there are a lot more, but that's it for now. Love and Hugs!!!!

Many Thanks, Love, and Hugs

There would never be enough room on Facebook to say thank you, and to express my love and gratitude to everyone that has been helping us.

I want to thank everyone that has been praying for us. That means so much.

We have the best cooks in Laconia Ward. Thank you to the Tilley Family, The Presby Family, The Swain Family, and The Lewis Family for the best dinners in the world!!!! Thank you Bonnie for the Easter dinner. When we have more energy we will devour that ham!

Thanks to the sweet Hanson Family for the Easter Eggs! They are so beautiful, and I would love to know how you guys knew that I adore dragonflies and butterflies!!!!

The offers for help have touched my heart. There have been so many. Thanks so much!!!

Erica has worked so hard to make sure we have been taken care of, and you will never know how much that has meant to all of us.

Adam has a long road ahead of him, and Tyler does too. Adam tends to put on a tough face for others, but he pretty much is home bound for now. He spends his days healing on the couch. He gets on the computer about once a day. That hurts him, but he would go crazy without the distraction. Tyler starts his journey next month with the doctors at DHMC. He is wearing his sunglasses in the house, throwing up, and dealing with his pain. I am just so glad that he has the meds he has to get him through.

My heart is sending all of you wonderful people love and hugs for the help you have given us. I want you to know how much we appreciate all that you have done for us.

There Are No Lemons!

Here is my not very well developed theory, but it is a theory.

I am borrowing this from Forrest Gump: "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get." Hello! So true! If you will, I would like to extend this working theory to people.

Now, we all come in various shapes, sizes, colors, and backgrounds. We are kind of like used cars that way. We come into this world like a shiny new Rolls-Royce, but life bumps, scratches, and dings us until we end up like every other used car on the lot.

Now, just by looking at the outside of someone you can never tell what their story is. Why doesn't he smile? Why does she seem so mean? Why are they so unhappy? It isn't until you kick the tires and take a closer look on the inside does their real history come out.

So, my theory is this: Don't judge until you have all of the information. Don't chalk someone up as a lemon because they look rough and jagged on the outside. Try to love and care for each other. If we spend time trying to help others buff out their scratches and dings, ours will smooth away too.

I am the first to admit that my scratches and dings run deep. I am the freakin' Grand Canyon of dings, and if anyone were to try and bondo me right now I would probably kick them in their head. There may be a lot of people that feel the same, but keep trying. You never know when someone is ready. Don't give up or get upset if they aren't willing to let you help. Just let them know that you don't think they are a lemon.

We are all beautiful in our own way. Whether we are short, tall, fat, thin, pierced, tattooed, rich or poor we are all loved and needed. Just a thought....

The Story of Us

I was thinking about a friend of mine that was concerned about the age difference between him and the love of his life. That got me thinking about myself and my hubby.

A friend of ours, Mike, had set us up when I was 14 and Adam was 17. We did not hit it off at all. He thought I was a snot and I had no clue what I was doing. Needless to say, it didn't work. I will say in my defense, I wasn't a snot. I was a 14 year old girl.

We met up again when I was 16 and we fell in love in no time at all. I knew that I was going to marry him. I loved him from that point on. We were inseparable.

We went through a periods of time when we split and then got back together. Then, when I was 20 we were married. I know there were many people that thought we wouldn't make it. I am sure there are still people that think we won't, but after 14 years of marriage we are still going strong.

He is the man of my dreams, has given me the most amazing son, he picks me up when I am down, floats like a balloon with me when I am happy, and is there for me in every in-between moment. When you find the person you love never let go.

Anniverary

This day, 14 years ago, my beautiful husband and I were married. I was 20 and a nervous wreck. He was 23 and, as always, calm as anything. These past 14 years have been wonderful, and I can't wait for the next.

We have had good times and bad, but loved each other through them all. He is my rock when I need him to be, and my soft place to fall. This man is amazing.

I hope everyone is as blessed as we are. Having that perfect person that seems tailor made for you, and you for them, is amazing. I love you my sweet husband.