Book Review Two!

Today I have two amazing books that I would like to share with the blogging world. They are both by one of my favorite authors, Todd Strasser.

Wish You Were Dead is an amazing book. Todd Strasser has outdone himself in his creative style and edge of your seat story telling. Anyone that picks this book up will have a hard time putting it down. This mystery is thrilling from beginning to end.

If Wish You Were Dead is an amazing book, Blood on My Hands is outstanding! The mystery along with the romantic aspect of this storyline are thrilling from start to the jaw dropping ending. Anyone that knows me for five minutes knows that I am not afraid to state my opinion whether good or bad. I truly have nothing negative to say about this book. It is a must read.

I have read many of Mr. Strasser's books, and I have enjoyed them; some more than others, but these two books will not disappoint. Mr. Strasser's writing style is at it's best. In at least one of his other books the style seemed dated and stiff, but now it seems to flow freely. These books get an A+ from this reader.

Goings On

Tyler's two favorite gifts! Dad lighting the candles!!!!!

Our little Emily is never far from us!!!!

My sweet Hubby! I adore this sweet man!!

Tyler could eat on his birthday!!! We were blessed to have him feel well enough to

enjoy his day!!!!!!

Many things are on my mind today. That may or may not be a good thing; time will tell.

I think a lot about what has been happening with our family. I also think about what is going to happen. Ad has his first appointment with his surgeon this coming week. Yikes!

Tyler has been putting in some terrible days and nights. His migraines have been terrible. He is getting some rest today. Poor kiddo really needs it.

He spent his birthday with a migraine, but he didn't throw up so it was a good day. In his birthday pics, he's on the couch, under his quilt that I made him. He was able to have a birthday dinner and cake. So, thankfully, that was a happy day.

I've also been thinking about writing. I haven't been able to do as much of it as I want, but there is a time and season for everything. Now, I am ready to get back to it. I know that it's a part of me. I don't think I could be me without writing of some kind. I need to write like I need to breathe. I have been suffocating for a while now.

I have also been thinking about something that a lot of people know about, but a lot more don't. I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, and OCD for most of my life. I suffered with an eating disorder in high school, trichotillomania, and other anxiety "tics" in school. In my adult life my demons have taken the version of crippling OCD. I have a horrid fear of germs, social phobia, and many others. I also suffer from panic attacks. Yes, I am on meds. Are they completely effective? Not at all. There is always the struggle to find the right meds, or combination of meds.

You want to hear something really strange? I think all of this has made me a better person. I have empathy, sympathy, and understanding that I would have gained only by going through this my whole life. I am the kind of mom that I always wanted to have. I am the kind of advocate for my child that I should have had as a child.

We are all given tests. We just need to get through them, and come out better on the other side.

I Did Not Stack The Deck!!!

These Are The Faces Of My Accusers!!!!!

For our Family Home Evening activity we played Cribbage. When it was my turn to shuffle the cards and deal, my hubby accused me of stacking the deck!!! Well, I most definitely did not. I just wanted to set the record straight.

Of course I know he is kidding!!!

We had a Blast!!!!!

Today, I Am Thankful

I am thankful for so many things. I am thankful for my husband and son. I am thankful for my parents, and the love they show me.I am thankful for sweet friends like Becky O. and Kasi. Kasi, I know I have only met you through Facebook, but you are a sweet friend.

I am grateful that spring is coming, and the snow is melting. I can't wait for my Lilacs to bloom. I love that this world is so beautiful.

I'm grateful for having people in my life that stick with me through the good and the bad. Even my sweet little cat Emily. She has her own sweet personality that I love.

I am grateful for the tests and trials that we go through as a family because they will make us stronger. I am grateful for my faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and my family, and in the end, that's all that matters.

I want to thank all of you for sticking by my side. I know that at times I need to just shut down, vent, or cry. I still want to thank my sweet friends new and old for sticking with me. Know I love you all, and I am forever grateful for the blessings that you are.

Do You Ever?

Do you ever feel like everyone has expectations that you can never meet? Do you ever feel like you are hanging on to the middle of a rope that is burning at both ends? Do you ever feel like you need a deep breathe of fresh air? Do you ever feel like you need some time alone? Do you ever feel like you don't fit in anywhere? Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try it's never enough? Do you ever feel like you want to be a kid again where someone else took care of all your problems? Do you ever feel like you aren't pretty enough? Do you ever wish you could just pick up your family and move? Do you ever feel that you are lonely in a room full of people? Do you ever feel like you are standing in a room full of people screaming and no one hears you?

I do.

Um...Yeah...It's Kinda Like That

I write, read, and I have to have my music. Right now I am listening to Alanis Morissette. She is so raw. I love her vocals and passion. Right now I am in a cleansing mood. I tend to bottle everything up inside, and it's not until I write that I have my cathartic cleansing experience. I don't like phones. I prefer email, Facebook, journaling, and Blogging. My hubby and son are the only ones I like talking to. No offense to anyone reading this. It's just who I am.

I was the kid in school that liked homework. I loved English, Reading, and Writing. I took an extra class that was devoted to writing. When it came to Science and Math...yeah...not so great there.

My favorite thing is to be able to sit at my lappy, and just write. When I catch that hook, wow...complete Zen moments! Amazing!!!

I've noticed lately, that with all of the stress we've been going through, my Zen moments are fewer. Somehow I have to get that me sitting and freaking out isn't going to change anything. I just have to let myself get lost in writing. That's how I deal, and it's okay.

Alanis says it best:

You live you learn

You love you learn

You cry you learn

You lose you learn

You bleed you learn

You scream you learn

You grieve you learn

You choke you learn

You laugh you learn

You choose you learn

You pray you learn

You ask you learn

You live you learn

Book Reviews!!!

I have decided to review some books every now and then. I been devouring books since I was a teen, and I love writing. So, I figured that I would give reviewing books a whirl. I'll start with the bad review first. I want to end on a positive note.
On a scale of 1-10 with ten being the best this is a negative 100.



This book and others written under the name of V.C. Andrews, in my opinion, are horrid. This book is laced with incest, consensual, between a brother and sister, and a grandmother that wants her grandchildren dead. It is sad because the story line in this and other books by this author are strong enough to stand on their own without the porn.

Overall, the story line is good, but the author lost major respect for making the common mistake of throwing in strong sexual content to make the book more appealing. I would never let a child of mine read anything with this author's name on it.

13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher gets an A+ from me. This book should be read by every parent and teen. I also feel that it should be required reading for every teacher and every adult working with children.

Mr. Asher has taken the subject of bullying and put it in a completely unique form. This book isn't the typical bullying is wrong approach. It's so much more than that. It is interesting, immediately draws you in, and leaves you with a stronger message than any public speaker or public service message could ever convey. This book is hauntingly well written.

You truly never know what your words or actions can do to others.

Pajamas

I know, weird title, huh? Well as I write to all of you at four in the afternoon I am still in my pajamas, and I just downed some blueberry Pop Tarts. Yes, I am depressed, and I am going to tell the whole blogging world just why I am.

First, our son has been suffering from debilitating migraines. He gets so sick from them. We are seeing specialists, and we have another appointment at the end of the month with his neurologist. His schooling is suffering, and that has me so worried. I feel so badly for him because he can't live the life of a normal, care free, teen. We are doing all we can, but he is still not well.

Second is my sweet hubby. He has epilepsy, migraines, and his last MRI showed that he is growing new and unexplained lesions in the white matter of his brain. Hopefully we'll find out what is happening to him at the end of the month. From what we have been able to find out, it could be migraine related lesions, which they don't know much about yet, or something like MS.

Then there is my dad that has just been diagnosed with either lung cancer or lymphoma. He goes to find out exactly what it is soon. I'm not ready to lose my dad. I am the baby of the family and the only girl. Needless to say I am close to my dad, and I can't imagine life without him.

Then last night we got a phone call from Adam's doctor. He had reconstructive surgery on his chest in 2005. The wires they put in his rib cage have fractured. He needs to have another surgery to remove them.

Things are stacking up. I can get things out better in writing, so this is a cathartic thing for me. Thanks for "listening".