My Cluttered Mind

I have many things to share. Just some completely random thoughts that have been floating around my cluttered mind.

I know that everyone on this revolving marble has to go through trials and tribulations. I get it. I am just so tired of seeing my sweet husband and son suffer with migraines. We are seeing neurologists, and I know that to find the right solution will take time, but it is heartbreaking when you do all you can and they still suffer.

I am so effin' tired, I could sleep for two weeks. Tyler tends to have long nights due to the migraines, and I wake up to help him. I do believe it may be catching up to me. Yeah...very tired.

I have also realized lately that I am a square peg. I know I have thought that before, but I really am. Out of my six closest friends, only two are women, and those two are just as weird as I am. I guess I just don't fit in with the "classic" woman things. I don't do shopping, spas, or shoes. (Except for books) I can't wait to go see a demolition derby, I want his and her matching four wheelers for me and my hubby, I can't wait for our picnic in the graveyard, and I am obsessed with writing. I do dye my hair weird colors, but that's for fun.

This brings me back to my last post here. My two best friends in this world are Adam and Tyler. That will never ever change. Most of the people that have let me down in my life are women. I think that's why my two close women friends mean so much to me. Megan and Kayla are so important to me. I love them and cherish their friendship. My guy close friends: Don, David, Mike, and Ed. You guys rock!

To my dear sweet family, Adam and Tyler-I love you with all of my heart, and you guys always come first.

Don't Play Me

This is something that people should know. Don't play me. If you say to me that you have been a terrible friend to me, chances are I will agree with you fully. So, the way to fix that is (SURPRISE) don't be a terrible friend to begin with.

Don't say you are going to do something, and then blow me off. Don't even say you will in the first place. That won't bother me.

Don't lie to me. Once that trust is broken, I don't give it again...EVER. I have enough scars inside from broken trust; I don't need anymore.

Don't treat me like crap, and then expect me to be fine with you. It's not gonna happen. If you act like you are humiliated to be around me, and you blow me off. Bite Me! It's all I have to say on this subject.

To all of you that have loved me, treated me kindly, and respected me, I love you, and I thank you!!!!!!

It Has Been So Long!!!!

I haven't blogged in such a long time. I have finished the rough draft of my novel, and have moved onto the rewrite and revision department. I love it so much!!!

I have also been doing a lot of reading on my own and with my family. As a family we are currently reading The Immortals series by Alyson Noel. She is one of my all time favorite authors. On my own I have read My Blood Approves and Fate by Amanda Hocking. She is so amazing. her books are almost impossible to put down once you start. I am blaming those books for not being closer to finishing my own novel. I've also started reading Anne Frank and Me by Cherie Bennett and Jeff Gottesfeld. So far an amazing read! I have also become addicted to The Hollows series by Jessica Verday.

I am really hoping that my book will get published. It is every author's dream to see their book on a shelf in a book store, or seeing it on the best seller list. I would love to know that my books make some sort of impact in this world for good. We shall see!!!!

For Kasi

I just needed to vent about people that judge others. There are so many people that try to assume what kind of person someone is. I just want to say that words hurt. How we treat others really matters. We need to uplift, care for, and nurture other people. We have no right to hurt others with our words, our coldness, and actions.

Hasi, you will be a great mom. You are loving and caring. Your firts instinct is what is best for your child. That shows me and many others that you will be a loving, and nurturing mom. Don't let anyone else drag you down. This mom is rooting for you.

Many Thanks, Love, and Hugs

There would never be enough room on Facebook to say thank you, and to express my love and gratitude to everyone that has been helping us.

I want to thank everyone that has been praying for us. That means so much.

We have the best cooks in Laconia Ward. Thank you to the Tilley Family, The Presby Family, The Swain Family, and The Lewis Family for the best dinners in the world!!!! Thank you Bonnie for the Easter dinner. When we have more energy we will devour that ham!

Thanks to the sweet Hanson Family for the Easter Eggs! They are so beautiful, and I would love to know how you guys knew that I adore dragonflies and butterflies!!!!

The offers for help have touched my heart. There have been so many. Thanks so much!!!

Erica has worked so hard to make sure we have been taken care of, and you will never know how much that has meant to all of us.

Adam has a long road ahead of him, and Tyler does too. Adam tends to put on a tough face for others, but he pretty much is home bound for now. He spends his days healing on the couch. He gets on the computer about once a day. That hurts him, but he would go crazy without the distraction. Tyler starts his journey next month with the doctors at DHMC. He is wearing his sunglasses in the house, throwing up, and dealing with his pain. I am just so glad that he has the meds he has to get him through.

My heart is sending all of you wonderful people love and hugs for the help you have given us. I want you to know how much we appreciate all that you have done for us.

A Glimpse Into My Scary Mind

Random Thought: I have rediscovered my love for Hole. Courtney Love is awesome. I love her vocals, and her style is great. I have to admit that I have some weird likes in music and just about everything else, but hey, it's the way I am. Random Thought: I happen to think that there was so much more to Marilyn Monroe than what Hollywood did to her. They made their money turning her into a vapid moron, but in reading some things she has had to say, there was so much more going on than what was seen on the surface. No, I don't think her death was a suicide, and Yes, I do think that the Kennedy family was involved. Random Thought: If I have to see another add for the Twilight movies, I will seriously puke. How can crappy acting bring in so much money? BTW-What the heck was with the Team Edward and Team Jacob crud? Hello! Read the books; the ending has already been decided. Random Thought: Have you ever noticed just how yummy chocolate and peanut butter are together. In candy or cereal form-YUMMAY!!! Random Thought-Spring is coming, and I hate bugs. Yuck! Random Thought-I hate it when my stacks of books are out of order. Random Thought-I have three huge book cases, and they are overflowing onto other flat surfaces, and I will never get rid of any of them. Random Thought-Oatmeal is yummy! Random Thought-I want to see Metallica in concert sooooo badly! Random Thought-I love the show Bones. So gross and soooo cool! Random Thought-I always trade silverware with Adam at a restaurant.

Tyler

It's two o'clock in the afternoon, I just finished my breakfast, and I am still in my pajamas. Yup, it was a rough night. - Thankfully, Tyler's neurologist is a very good friend to our family, and we are able to call him on his cell or at home. Well, Friday everything sort of came crashing down around us. He had been putting in weeks of horrid daily migraines and vomiting. I called our fave doc in the world on his cell, and he had us take Tyler to the ER for blood work and dehydration. He was concerned because Tyler had taken 8 mg of Zofran and was still vomiting. This is a drug that they would give to chemo patients to control their nausea. He had lost over 20 pounds in a little over a month. Freaking SCARY! - We brought Tyler in and it took two nurses about half an hour to be able to get his IV in. OUCH! They administered Compazine for the nausea and migraine pain, but within minutes, Tyler was having a nasty reaction. He was combative, angry and restless. I went to the nurses' station and told them what was happening, and the doctor and a nurse came in right away. They gave him Benadryl through his IV and explained that he was having Dystonia because of the Compazine. Apparently it happens in one out of twenty patients. It was scary as heck. Thankfully the Benadryl helped, and he was able to calm down. - After that wonderfully jarring experience, they gave him a pain med that could knock over a horse. He actually had two days with hardly any pain, and no nausea! Then in the middle of the night his migraine spiked, and he is in pain today. He is resting now, and my heart is so sad for him. He had two days of feeling well, just to be blindsided by horrible pain again. - In all of this I have learned a few lessons. - 1. Cherish the good times. - 2. No one can understand what you are going through unless they have had a sick child as well. - 3. Times like these can strengthen your faith, or make you bitter. I am choosing to strengthen my faith. - There have been a couple shining examples for me. Tyler's faith hasn't been shaken. He has a strong testimony and belief in our Heavenly Father. We prayed and prayed that the nurses would be able to get his IV in, and they were able to. That was a huge blessing. Tyler's friend Trevor has been pulling for him, and none of us will ever forget that. Our new Home Teacher, Matt, has shown so much love and concern for Tyler as well. That touched my heart. - When you go through things like this, it is the little things that matter most. Someone dropping a dinner by or a phone call. If we say no, now is not a good time to come by, please don't get offended, Tyler has to be our first priority now, and we may have put in a rough day, night, or both. We may still be in our jammies and eating breakfast at two in the afternoon. This is hard for all of us, and we are just trying to hold on, hang in, and get through this.