The Real Me

Well, I know there has been special interest in our family. There has also been well meaning yet bad advice given to me.
My dad is dying, and it breaks my heart. I know where he is going, and that I will be with him again. That being said, the pain of losing him is real. If you want to help, send an encouraging message, pray for him and my mom.
My son is still suffering from ongoing, constant, daily migraines. He has sleepless nights, and days when he has to wear sunglasses in a dark house. He sees specialist after specialist, and needs to try different medical changes constantly.
My husband has an inflammatory illness that leaves him weakened and in constant pain. We are still waiting for specialists to nail down what is wrong with him exactly. People know that he is ill, and yet they still don't understand.
I have illnesses as well. Mine are psychological, but every bit as real. Due to issues that I have had to deal with, it has caused me to emotionally shut down. I have been dealing with anxiety, OCD, severe depression, and agoraphobia. I can't snap out of it, just cheer up, serve others, and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It doesn't work that way!!! Before you give me advice on "natural" remedies, tell me that there is something wrong with the way I live my life, or that I don't have a close relationship with Heavenly Father, because I DO! Educate yourselves. I am currently in treatment, that's what you all need to know.
Things may be difficult now, but we all have strong testimonies, have daily scripture study, Family Home Evening, and family prayers. We are a strong, united family.
I also have a sweet son that is in college, has a steady job, is an RM and is a joy. He helps in more ways than he could even imagine.

The Guilt Ends Now

I think I have finally let myself see things the way they really are. I think we all sit on our high horses, having expectations that we don't meet ourselves. I am so tired of being pulled in different directions. I have put my family first, and that is what needs to be.

I used to be so afraid of letting people down all of the time. Why the crap should I care what other people think of me. My family needs me, and they are the ones that have to come before all others.

My family is going through some very trying times, and I have to be here for them. I know people don't get it, but, oh well. Heavenly Father says Family First, so Family First it is.

For those of you that don't get it. I hope you never have to see your loved ones suffering. I hope you never have to see your child miss out on so much because he is so sick. I hope you never have to see your child miss out on daily life, and have his life consist of tests, specialists, medications, and seeing his friends do what he wishes he could do. I hope you never have to see your spouse suffer through multiple surgeries, and be in constant pain.

I'm sorry if my family's trials are inconveniencing you.