Please...Please...Please

 My dad holding me when I was a baby.

I am sending out a plea to all of my friends and family that smoke. Please, I beg you to stop.

My dad went from an amazingly strong man to being bedridden, unable to walk, unable to eat or drink on his own, and with a horrid cough that is with him all day and all night. He's been reduced to skin and bone, and he's so weak that he needs help to even roll over.

I'm not trying to offend anyone, or make anyone feel bad. It's just the opposite. I don't want to see anyone that I love go through this kind of suffering. I don't want anyone else to feel what my dad is feeling.

My dad was diagnosed, went through chemo and radiation, had a blessed period of remission, and then the cancer came back with a vengeance. It spread from his lungs, to his neck, and brain. We're waiting now for the end to come, and his suffering to be over.

So, please, quit smoking. It's the best way to prevent this from happening to you. If not for you do it for your family. The pain and anguish that we are feeling is unbearable.

The Guilt Ends Now

I think I have finally let myself see things the way they really are. I think we all sit on our high horses, having expectations that we don't meet ourselves. I am so tired of being pulled in different directions. I have put my family first, and that is what needs to be.

I used to be so afraid of letting people down all of the time. Why the crap should I care what other people think of me. My family needs me, and they are the ones that have to come before all others.

My family is going through some very trying times, and I have to be here for them. I know people don't get it, but, oh well. Heavenly Father says Family First, so Family First it is.

For those of you that don't get it. I hope you never have to see your loved ones suffering. I hope you never have to see your child miss out on so much because he is so sick. I hope you never have to see your child miss out on daily life, and have his life consist of tests, specialists, medications, and seeing his friends do what he wishes he could do. I hope you never have to see your spouse suffer through multiple surgeries, and be in constant pain.

I'm sorry if my family's trials are inconveniencing you.