Thoughts About My Book

I may never hit a million sales, but I am proud that I put my book out there for the world to see. It was hard because Brianna, Chris, and Steven have become like another family to me in a weird sort of way. You don't turn your back on family even if no one else gets them.

These fictional characters that I have grown to love are a huge part of me. They came from my imagination, and I built their world. This process took me years to get completely right. I put so much of myself into this project. I put in time, effort, tears, and frustration.

My favorite scene in the book is when Chris and Brianna are taking a walk together on her birthday. I love the conversations that they shared on that day. To me, that is a golden moment. I'm not saying this to pat myself on the back, but it's just one of those scenes that made me happy during the countless hours of editing and rewrites. It was a part that made me feel that I didn't stink as an author.

I think a lot of authors go through the same thing. You feel like you stink as an author, but eventually you see that it's not the case. If you are doing something you love keep at it and never give up. There will always be those that doubt you, but don't let the negativity win. You can do it.

Yes. I Mean It!

There are a couple of points that I want to make clear.

When I say that I am an author, I really mean that I am an author. I write, and I will be getting my books published. You can laugh all you want, but I will be getting my stuff published.

When I say that I have an incredible family, I really mean that I have an incredible family.

When I sayu that the bottom fell out of my world the day my dad died, I really mean it.

When I say that I miss him so much I can hardly breathe at times, I mean it.

When I tell you that my faith keeps me going, I really mean it.

When I tell you that my Father in Heaven holds me together, I really mean it.

When I tell you that the Savior makes all things possible, I really mean it.

When I tell you that the Holy Ghost comforts me, I really mean it.

When I tell you that Green Eggs and Ham is one of the best books ever written, I really mean it.

When I tell you that my two sons are amazing, I mean it.

When I tell you that I want to float in a pool of chocolate and caramel, I really mean it.

When I tell you that hope means a lot to me, I really mean it.

When I tell you that I will make my dreams come true, I REALLY MEAN IT!

Sassy Pants!

I have had my sassy pants on for a few days. I have some more sass that I want to get off of my chest.

First Thing! I can't stand it when someone (who shall remain nameless) publishes a couple of books (2 in fact), and then thinks he's too good to speak to aspiring authors. Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
This is what I picture the attitude as:

"If I run into you, If I run into you
Yeah here's what I'd do
I'd say, "Listen I'm having a really crazy week
and I can't talk right now,"

Second Thing! It drives me nuts that people put others down that write, paint, dance, etc. These are real jobs, and we work so hard to put our creativity to work. So, just because we may be at home, at a dance studio, or an art studio does not mean that we are not working.

Third Thing! Don't judge myself or my family. I know to some, it may seem like we aren't active in church, that we have fallen away, but I assure you that is not the case. We've been very ill. Yes, all three of us, and it's been hard. My Visiting Teachers Have Never Been Here! That sucks, but we have Family Home Evening every single week, we have daily private and family prayer, my son and husband are faithful priesthood holders, we have family and personal scripture study. Sorry to disappoint anyone who has had their tongue wagging about us!

Fourth Thing! It drives me crazy when people have the nerve to act like my husband and I are bad parents because our son has health issues. We all have health issues, and just because he didn't make Eagle Scout doesn't mean he is destined to a life of inactivity. He has incredible faith, and a strong testimony.

The Things That Stick

Sometimes thing just stick with you. You pick them up in different places, and at different times. Some are good, and some are bad. These things can come from books, people, and more importantly, from God.

I have picked up a lot this week. I hope you will finish reading this, because they are important to me. The first thing I learned is that I have a lot to learn. I need to be more humble and prayerful. I need to stop and give thanks for my many blessings. Like everyone else, I pray for things I need or want, get caught up in my own day to day life, and forget to thank God for all that I do have.

I learned that to have a loving family and home are the most important things in this life. I learned that from an incredible author, Todd Strasser. He wrote Can't Get There From Here. I highly recommend this book. It stays with you and helps you to realize that family and home are such amazing blessings.

I also learned this week that Heavenly Father puts you in places you need to be, whether that is to learn an important lesson or to help others. I was feeling so alone today, so isolated from the world. That happens when you are dealing with a child that has ongoing health problems. Out of the blue, a sweet friend called me. She has children that have health problems as well. She could relate to everything I have been feeling. We stayed on the phone for over an hour. She listened, gave advice, helped me see things from a new perspective, and offered her help. That is exactly what I needed today.

Family first. I have learned that I need to be here in the present; in the here and now. If my child needs me, that has to come before anything else. If my dear husband needs me, that has to come first on my priority list. Other things have to fall by the wayside. I should not and must not feel guilty if I can't do all and be all. I also learned that it is okay to reach out and ask for help.

Oy With the Poodles Already!

As any true Gilmore Girl fanatic, this phrase I picked up from the show had to be used. I am having that kind of day.

As I wrote on my Facebook wall yesterday, I want to soar like a bird and not splatter like roadkill. I am getting to the point where I can send my baby out in the world in the hopes of getting it published. Freakin' Yikes!

I am clammy handed, butterflies in the stomach, having a heart attack kind of scared. There is no other way to put it.

As I see it I have three choices:
1. Not send it out and forever wonder what if.
2. Send it out, get hit by rejection after rejection.
3. Have a coronary from thinking about it, die, and then let my family get it published.
I'm not liking the third option very much, but hey, it needed to be put on the table.

What to do? How do I do it? How do I start? Where do I go?

Oy with the poodles already!!!!

Venting and Crud

Okay folks, I'm in venting mode. Unfortunately, I did not come equipped with a shut up button, so "Fasten your seat belts. It's going to be a bumpy night."

I love my life. I love being a wife, lover, my husband's soft place to fall, mother, author, friend, daughter, and all of the other things that I am. I love all of it! I really do.

Now here is where things get a little tricky. This is what I don't like. I don't like one way friendships. If all you want from me is to suck the life out of me, please leave me alone. I understand that at different times friendships need more of a give and take in them. I get it. I am talking about the ones where I do all the giving and they do all the taking.

I am also not fond of people questioning my parenting skills; especially by people that have no children! I am a good mother. Our son has some ongoing health issues. Which would be why he has seen a neurologist since he was 12. These issues are a major reason why we home school. In a perfect world our son would not get sun sickness, migraines, (it has actually been a few days since he has had one!) and other health concerns. Then he would be able to go to Scout Camp and High Adventure! We do not keep him from these things because we want to be mean. He has health issues! Get that through your brain!!!!

I am so sorry that my health issues keep me from being at your beck and call. I am sorry that I can't be at every function that is thrown. Again-there are reasons why! I am not stuck up, I am not rude (except maybe right now) nor am I heartless. I have feelings too. When you treat me like I am invisible, yes, it does hurt. When I am overlooked and treated like I don't belong (WOW! BIG SHOCKER COMING UP!) it does hurt. So, please remember that I have feelings too and a heart that can hurt.

My last rant-My husband is an incredible hubby and dad! He loves and cares for us. He does everything he can to make our lives happy. He is my heart, and if you mess with him, be fully prepared to take me on as well!

Starving Artist

Okay, so maybe starving is a little off the mark; okay completely off. It does have a great sound to it though. Sacrificing for your art, not letting anyone dictate the normalcy's of life. Those are the things we tell ourselves while we jump headlong into the wind and hope we make the mark.

I have decided and will keep hoping to have complete control over the piece of my soul that makes up my novel. I want control for good reasons, and not just because I am a complete control freak. Boy, I am using that word a lot. So, maybe it is because I am a control freak. The way I see it, I am telling the story of these characters that I love. I have thought about, worried about, and made up the little tiny world that they live in. I love these "people" and I want to make sure everything is up to snuff for them.