Goals for 2014

I only have a couple of goals for the upcoming year.
1. Work on getting my book published.
2. Work on getting healthy. I don't mean just taking off weight. I mean getting myself in a good place emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Goals tend to come in strong and go out quickly, but I am determined to make this work. I just thought I'd share this with you all!

THE CHOCOLATE STAYS!!!!

Hanging on For the Ride.

Today is a wake up and slam me in the face kind of day. A day when everything is a bit too real and raw. Some of you know, and some of you don't know about my struggles with depression, and other mental illnesses. I've decided to let the world know who I am without the masks.

There are times when all I can do is get out of bed, and stumble to take my medications that are supposed to help me. They do, I don't know where I would be without a good therapist, and team that works so hard to help me.

Little things that people take for granted are hard for me: going to church, going to the store, being around people, having lasting friendships. Those things are so unbelievably hard for me. When I am doing them I feel like I am putting on a mask, and what you are seeing is a fake me, a me that seems to have things under control when I really feel like running and hiding.

Days at home are mostly okay. I have a loving and supportive family that keep me sane when I feel like the last threads are about to break. If I need to rest, I rest. If I need to cry, I can cry, and my sweet husband is there for me the whole time.

Taking off my mask this way is a huge help. It lets the world know why I seem to have disappeared  from the radar. There are times in therapy when you need to just sit and be where you are. I think I am in one of those times. It doesn't mean that I am not continuing to heal; it just means that this journey takes longer than I thought. I want to go a hundred miles an hour, but I can't. I have to learn patience. That is a hard lesson to learn.

The New Year

There are so many things that I could make resolutions to do in the upcoming new year. I could make resolutions for countless things because I want to do so much, but that isn't healthy. I am therefore only making two. That is to get healthier, and to work everyday on my writing. I have taken a hiatus for my own creative needs. I was shaken by something, but now the need to write is overcoming any doubts that I could have had, and it feels good. Here are some random pictures that I feel like posting about our Christmas.

A Very Merry Christmas!

Still Waking Up!

My Bookcase!

My Handsome Hubby!

Santa Came!

Tyler will be busy!

I will be busy!

We all got tons of things, but the best part was we were together as a family!!!

Merry Christmas!

I just wanted to take this time to wish you a very Merry Christmas! I hope we can all remember to keep Christ in our Christmas celebrations.

This joyous season is because God loved us so much that He sent His only begotten Son to come to be our example and our Savior. I thank Him for that sacrifice, and that He is our Brother.

Seventeen Years!

It was seventeen years ago today that I married my wonderful husband, Adam. Here are some pictures of our journey with our son Tyler. Enjoy!

I Don't Mind If You Don't

I have never made a secret of much about my life. I think that I am pretty open. Over the last year or so, I have grown to accept myself. I have some weird quirks, but that's okay; everyone does. Some of the more controversial things about me and my family in my circle of friends are as follows:

In our house it's the parents that are playing the rock and heavy metal music.
No subject is off limits. Our son knows about our past mistakes so he can learn from them.
We all love the same music, movies and tv shows.
We took our son to his first rock concert.
I have no problem wearing black nail polish and dying my hair funky colors.
We don't care what other people think about us.

Yes, some may not like out list, but we are the tightest family that you will ever find, and our son is well adjusted, happy, and we all love each other. So, I don't mind your quirks if you don't mind ours.

Holiday Stress

Have you noticed that when people are thinking about Christmas, they think about shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning for guests, and wrapping presents? I do the same thing. It can drive you crazy and end up dreading the holiday instead of loving it.

I have no problem stating that this year has been different for me. I got my shopping done early, I wrapped with a week left before the big day, and I planned my menu early. Getting things done early can really take some of the pressure off.


I think sometimes we put too much pressure on ourselves to be happy at this time of year. We're all supposed to be having Christmas cheer and feeling perky and bright, but there is no thing wrong with having a down day, or feeling sad. Just feel bad for a little bit, and then go do something positive.

The holidays can be so overwhelming if we let them be. We need to take a little time for ourselves each day, or else we will burn out completely. Let yourself have half an hour somewhere in the day to read, take a quick nap, do whatever will make you feel good. It will help.

For me, I try to remember what this time of year is about. For me, it's about the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. It's about focusing on that miracle, and it's about family.

I hope this helps some. Relax and let go of the stress.

What I Love

There are so many things that I love, but I want to share just a few of them with you.
1.I love my family.
2. I love the way that our family is with each other. We share such a strong love with each other.
3. I love my pajama days.
4. I love the truth. Lies hurt.
5. I love church.
6. I love Christmas.
7. I love hot chocolate, or any form of chocolate.
8. I love hugs.
9. I love washing my hair. Weird, I know.
10. I love the way my hubby looks at me.
11. I love the ocean.
12. I love to color.

Those are just a few of the things that I love and care about, but there are so many more. What about you? What do you love?

What I Have Learned

I have learned so much over the last year. It has been a humbling experience. I would like to share with you what those experiences are. You never know, we may help each other.
1.I have learned not to judge my insides by someone's outsides.-We all put on a great face you just don't know someone's struggles.
2. I have learned to be humble. I have been humbled by my challenges and that has left me better off than I was before.
3. I have learned that chocolate does indeed solve a lot of problems!
4. I have learned that I can't be superwoman anymore. My cape and lasso are retired.
5. I have learned to do something for myself everyday. That time replenishes and restores me. Don't mess with my time.
6. I have learned that just because you want something it doesn't mean that it's the right time for you. Many lessons can be learned by the answer 'no', or 'not right now'.
7. I have learned that big blessings come in unexpected ways.
8. I have learned that helping is rewarding.
9. I have learned that I need to blog more!!!
10. I have learned that life is precious,
and I thank God for everyday that I get to participate in it!