Goings On

Tyler's two favorite gifts! Dad lighting the candles!!!!!

Our little Emily is never far from us!!!!

My sweet Hubby! I adore this sweet man!!

Tyler could eat on his birthday!!! We were blessed to have him feel well enough to

enjoy his day!!!!!!

Many things are on my mind today. That may or may not be a good thing; time will tell.

I think a lot about what has been happening with our family. I also think about what is going to happen. Ad has his first appointment with his surgeon this coming week. Yikes!

Tyler has been putting in some terrible days and nights. His migraines have been terrible. He is getting some rest today. Poor kiddo really needs it.

He spent his birthday with a migraine, but he didn't throw up so it was a good day. In his birthday pics, he's on the couch, under his quilt that I made him. He was able to have a birthday dinner and cake. So, thankfully, that was a happy day.

I've also been thinking about writing. I haven't been able to do as much of it as I want, but there is a time and season for everything. Now, I am ready to get back to it. I know that it's a part of me. I don't think I could be me without writing of some kind. I need to write like I need to breathe. I have been suffocating for a while now.

I have also been thinking about something that a lot of people know about, but a lot more don't. I have been struggling with anxiety, depression, and OCD for most of my life. I suffered with an eating disorder in high school, trichotillomania, and other anxiety "tics" in school. In my adult life my demons have taken the version of crippling OCD. I have a horrid fear of germs, social phobia, and many others. I also suffer from panic attacks. Yes, I am on meds. Are they completely effective? Not at all. There is always the struggle to find the right meds, or combination of meds.

You want to hear something really strange? I think all of this has made me a better person. I have empathy, sympathy, and understanding that I would have gained only by going through this my whole life. I am the kind of mom that I always wanted to have. I am the kind of advocate for my child that I should have had as a child.

We are all given tests. We just need to get through them, and come out better on the other side.