Trust is an amazing thing. If you think about how much we depend on the trust of others, it can be a little scary. I have a very hard time trusting anyone or letting anyone in my life. I think that is one of the reasons why I like to write.
When I write, I am in complete control of the characters that I create; where they go, what they say, how they say it and how they act. All of it is under my control, and they never let me down.
In the real world, where people can hurt me, I hold back. I hold everything back. I keep people at arm's length. No one but my husband knows the real me. People don't know what I have gone through in my past. They don't know what I really think or feel. The only person in this life that I trust is my husband.
That's not to say that I don't have people that I care about deeply. I do. I am just so afraid that if people know the real me, I won't be enough. People may not like me once they get to know me. In my experience people leave. They don't stick around for the long haul.
My sweet husband, son, Kim C., Sam, Rachel, Megan, and Ed are the exceptions. They like me, weirdness and all. Believe me, I have a whole lotta weird goin' on. To them I say thank you with my whole heart!
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